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Congratulations!
Congratulations!
You, dad, play a very special and important role during birth, but all too often you aren't told what to expect! Below are some frequently asked questions from other dads-to-be. Hopefully they will give you insights, tips and tricks for navigating pregnancy, birth and early fatherhood.
Questions Commonly Asked by Dads
Questions Commonly Asked by Dads
How will I know what to do when she's in labor?
How will I know what to do when she's in labor?
The best preparation will be to attend a childbirth class with your partner. This will let you know what to expect, and give you a toolkit of labor coping techniques for you to use.
It is also helpful to remember these things during labor:
The laboring woman is always right!
Don't ask her questions during contractions. She will probably be irritated with you.
Most women don't appreciate their stomachs being touched during labor.
Don’t go to sleep unless she gives you the OK. She is working hard and has to stay awake. She will expect the same from you.
If something helps her during contractions (like rubbing her back), start it as soon as the contraction begins. Starting half way through a contraction is not helpful.
Laboring women are sometimes only able to get their thoughts across in one or two words and are often very direct in labor. If she tells you to STOP doing something, stop immediately. If she tells you to do something, do it right away.
She needs encouragement. Tell her she is strong and is doing a good job.
My wife wants to birth at home, but is it safe?
My wife wants to birth at home, but is it safe?
The easy answer is YES! A mom that has been cleared by her midwife after doing a medical history, and who continues to be healthy along with her baby through her pregnancy, is actually safer birthing outside of the hospital than inside, because she is not in danger of receiving unnecessary interventions.
A study done in 2009 found that planned home births attended by a registered midwife were associated with "very low and comparable rates of perinatal death and reduced rates of obstetric interventions and other adverse perinatal outcomes compared with planned hospital birth attended by a midwife or physician." (1)
If you have specific concerns, don't hesitate to discuss it with us at a consultation with no obligations.
(1) Janssen, P. A., Saxell, L., Page, L. A., Klein, M. C., Liston, R. M., & Lee, S. K. (2009). Outcomes of planned home birth with registered midwife versus planned hospital birth with midwife or physician. CMAJ : Canadian Medical Association journal = journal de l'Association medicale canadienne, 181(6-7), 377–383. https://doi.org/10.1503/cmaj.081869
My wife is thinking about getting a doula, but how are they different than a midwife?
My wife is thinking about getting a doula, but how are they different than a midwife?
In most home-birth settings, a doula isn’t as necessary as she would be in a hospital birth setting. In a hospital, a doula is the mediator between the wishes of the parents and the hospital staff, translating the medical lingo and providing hands-on support, to help avoid excessive interventions. But in a home birth setting, the midwife works directly with the parents and intervenes only when necessary.
However, a doula can still be a wonderful addition to the birth team, particularly for first-time parents. The doula can coach and trade off with the dad in supporting the laboring woman.
Why should I attend a childbirth class?
Why should I attend a childbirth class?
Childbirth is an important shared experience for couples and something both men and women need to prepare for. Women tend to gather information about pregnancy through various sources, including books, the Internet, healthcare providers, and other moms, but men don’t always share in this fact-finding. If they do, it’s often not to the same extent.
By participating in birthing classes, men receive the encouragement and information they need to become better equipped for the childbirth process. These in-person, interactive classes teach about all facets of birth, including coping techniques and strategies. This knowledge helps men to gain confidence, address concerns, and best support their partners during birth.
How long does labor usually last?
How long does labor usually last?
Labor times can vary wildly, anywhere from twenty minutes to fifty hours. Typically, it lasts between 8-15 hours. If the labor does go on for a long time, you can help by encouraging her to stay hydrated and eating well, particularly protein.
First time moms often labor longer than normal, and it is crucial for them to be distracted for as long as possible during the beginning of labor. Helping her to ignore the early contractions will give her more mental reserve, so she will be able to focus when the labor contractions become more intense and demand her attention.
In the hospital, the birth mess magically disappears, but what happens at a home birth?
In the hospital, the birth mess magically disappears, but what happens at a home birth?
Just like the hospital staff, your midwife has a system for birth cleanup. She and her assistant(s) will take care of the cleanup, although your help would be appreciated at certain points. When all is said and done, you won’t even know a birth happened in your home!
What if I faint at the sight of blood?
What if I faint at the sight of blood?
If dad does get faint, he is welcome (and encouraged) to take small food/water breaks to keep his strength up, and the midwife and her assistants will take care of him to make sure both mom and dad are doing well.
What do I do after the birth?
What do I do after the birth?
Help take care of the baby and mama! Yes, you can't nurse your newborn, but you can certainly help out with diapers, or hold your baby so your wife can sleep. You can organize other people to support, as well, such as putting together a meal train, hiring a postpartum doula, or having a friend over to help do dishes--support possibilities are endless!
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